Super Sex

A woman, completely fed up with her husband's on-line obsession, finally takes matters into her own hands.

One night, as he is sitting at the computer, she goes into the bedroom, takes off all her clothes, puts on a full length mink coat, and posts herself between her husband and the monitor. She pulls open the coat and yells, "Time for Super Sex!!!"

He ignores her.

So, she repeatedly yells, "Super Sex, Super Sex, Super Sex!"

Finally, he replies, "Ok, ok, I'll take the soup."

Britney Spears: Pregnant!

Friday March 25, 2005 10:00 PM ET

Britney Spears and her husband of seven months, Kevin Federline, are expecting a baby, Star can exclusively and definitively reveal!

The 23-year-old singer is three-months pregnant, according to sources close to the couple, and an official announcement confirming the happy news is expected to be released this weekend.

Sources say Britney has canceled all her future work engagements and is busy preparing for her new job - motherhood - when the baby arrives this fall.

Brit's made no secret of her desire to start a family since her marriage to Kevin Federline on Sept. 18 last year. Less than a month after the wedding, Britney was telling fans on her Web site, britneyspears.com, how she longed for a baby, saying, "Being married is GREAT and I can't wait to start my family!" Now it looks like her dream has finally come true.

A source close to the couple tells Star that Britney is already reading "What to Expect When You're Expecting," an advice manual for expectant moms by pregnancy and childcare writer Heidi Murkoff, and is eating for two with double helpings of everything.

"Brit is totally focused on being a mom," says the source. "She says it's the most important thing she's ever done in her life. From now until the baby comes, she says she's not going to do anything more strenuous than eat for two!"

Father-to-be Kevin, 27, already has two children by his ex, Moesha star Shar Jackson - Kori, 2, and Kaleb, 8 months.

"He calls Brit 'my lady-in-waiting,'" says the source. "Kevin knows he's not going to get a moment's peace from now until the baby comes. He says what he really enjoys about her pregnancy is chugging beers and telling Brit 'You can't have one!'"

Another source close to the couple says although the Britney and Kevin are keeping the pregnancy a secret, they're not fooling their friends and family. "Kevin's been acting funny," says the source. "But he won't explain why. Britney and Kevin have been planning how they would handle this if they found out she was pregnant - they'd keep it to themselves until she was at least three months along."

The week before her momentous announcement was expected, Britney was taking it easy, relaxing in Santa Monica's luxury beach hotel Le Merigot, where she's staying with Kevin for two weeks while their $7-million Malibu home is renovated.

She enjoyed a massage and then hit the eucalyptus sauna and steam room. But it looks like she's decided to get back in shape for her pregnancy too - splitting her daily workout between power-walking on the gym treadmill and yoga stretches. And after all that hard work, Brit ordered up some room service - fried calamari and shrimp cocktail, with extra roulade sauce. All that mayo is pretty fattening, Brit!

But then, we guess you're eating for two now.

For complete coverage on this breaking story, check out Star, on newsstands next Thursday.

Men beware: withholding sex can be grounds for separation, alimony

ROME (AFP) - Seven years of withholding sex went too far in the eyes of an Italian court, which ordered a Sicilian man to pay alimony to his wife for refusing conjugal relations.



The man, whose name was given only as Francesco, decided to punish his wife Piera after she opposed him in a family argument -- a punishment that lasted seven years.

The highest Italian appeals court called the man's actions -- or rather, inactions -- an "offence to her dignity," and said it constituted grounds for separation.

The court also ordered him to pay alimony to his now former wife and their children, born when their marriage saw happier times, and carry the legal costs of the case.

"The refusal to have sexual and affectionate relations over seven years with his wife constitutes a very serious offence to her dignity and has caused frustration with serious consequences for her psychological equilibrium," the court judgement stated.

The behaviour is a violation of article 143 of the civil code which imposes a duty of moral and material assistance between husband and wife, the court ruled.

Underwear maker celebrates new Japanese baseball team with special bra

TOKYO (AFP) - An underwear maker celebrated the birth of Japan's first new professional baseball team in 50 years with a commemorative bra shaped like baseballs each bearing the team mascots.

The bra is made of synthetic leather and has dolls of the team's furry mascots "Clutch" and female "Clucchina" clutching the side of each bra cup turned baseball.

Completing the theme, the bra is trimmed with a real eagle's feather, underwear maker Triumph said.

The single commemorative bra will be sold by an internet auction closing Wednesday, a day ahead of the Tohoku Rakuten Golden Eagles' home debut in the northern city of Sendai.

"We would like the lucky individual who bids down this single set edition ... to wear the bra and support the Tohoku Rakuten Golden Eagles at their opening game in Sendai," a Triumph statement said.

Bidding began Friday with a symbolic offer of 88 yen, the uniform number of the Golden Eagles' manager. Eighty-eight yen is equal to 83 US cents.

The Golden Eagles were formed after the merger of two money-losing teams in Japanese baseball. The national sport is in crisis due to soaring salaries and in September the first strike by players.

Nippon Professional Baseball chose as the new team's owner Internet shopping site Rakuten, which will join the old boys club of Japanese pro baseball dominated by railway firms, media conglomerates and food companies.

Prankster Smuggles Art Into Top Museums

EW YORK (Reuters) - Many a visitor to New York's Museum of Modern Art has probably thought, "I could do that."

A British graffiti artist who goes by the name "Banksy" went one step further, by smuggling in his own picture of a soup can and hanging it on a wall, where it stayed for more than three days earlier this month before anybody noticed.

The prank was part of a coordinated plan to infiltrate four of New York's top museums on a single day.

The largest piece, which he smuggled into the Brooklyn Museum, was a 2 foot by 1.5 foot (61cm by 46 cm) oil painting of a colonial-era admiral, to which the artist had added a can of spray paint in his hand and anti-war graffiti in the background.

The other two targets were the Metropolitan Museum of Art and the American Museum of Natural History, where he hung a glass-encased beetle with fighter jet wings and missiles attached to its body -- another comment on war, Banksy told Reuters on Thursday.

"It was just an outsider's view of the modern American bug, bristling with listening devices and military hardware," he said.

An art Web site called www.woostercollective.com has posted pictures of the artist -- wearing an Inspector Clouseau-style overcoat, a hat and a fake beard and nose -- hanging up his work at the four museums and describing how he did it.

Speaking by telephone from an undisclosed location in Britain, Banksy said he conducted all four operations on March 13, helped by accomplices who filmed him and provided distractions where necessary.

"They staged a gay tiff (lovers' quarrel), shouting very loudly and obnoxiously," said the artist, declining to give his real name or any personal details beyond his occupation as a professional painter and decorator.

It is not the first time he has staged such stunts. Last year he smuggled work into the Louvre in Paris and London's Tate, attracting attention in the British media.

"My sister inspired me to do it. She was throwing away loads of my pictures one day and I asked her why. She said 'It's not like they're going to be hanging in the Louvre.'"

He took that as a challenge. "I thought why wait until I'm dead," he said.

His preferred creative outlet, graffiti on trains, was growing more difficult due to greater security so he decided to branch out into infiltrating museums. "I tend to gravitate to places with less sophisticated security systems," he said.

Officials at the Natural History Museum declined to comment on security. Museum of Modern Art officials said only that the offending picture was taken down on March 17.

It was unclear what gave the game away but Banksy's version of Andy Warhol's iconic images of Campbell's Soup Cans showed a can of Tesco value tomato soup, a discounted brand sold by a British supermarket chain.

"Obviously they've got their eye a lot more on things leaving than things going in which works in my favor," Banksy said. "I imagine they'll be doing stricter bag checks now."

He said the painting in the Metropolitan Museum, a small portrait of a woman wearing a gas mask, had been discovered after one day, while the others stayed up for several days. The paintings were fixed to the wall with extra-strong glue.

Asked how he managed to escape notice while putting them up on a busy Sunday at the museums, he said: "They do get pretty full, but not if you put the pictures in the boring bits."

running of the nudes

MADRID (AFP) - The annual "running of the bulls" in the northern Spanish town of Pamplona could get some serious competition this year, in the form of a rival run by naked humans protesting cruelty to animals.

The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) group, which has protested against the event in the past, even announced that it was asking the town authorities to replace the traditional bull-chase with its "running of the nudes."

The nine-day San Fermin festival, due to start on July 6, traditionally involves hundreds of runners, including many tourists, trying to outrace a herd of bulls, who chase them throught the town's narrow streets in a tradition that goes back centuries.

But PETA, which last year unleashed several protesters wearing nothing but fake horns and sandals into the streets of Pamplona, said it wants to turn the 'Running of the Nudes' into the official event this year to protest cruelty against animals.

The group is also concerned about last year's outbreak of blue tongue disease, a virus which forced restrictions on livestock movements in southern regions of Spain.

"In light of the outbreak of blue tongue disease and the negative press reports of the disease... we have asked the mayor to make PETA's Running of the Nudes' the official event this year, PETA's campaigns coordinator Yvonne Taylor told AFP.

A spokeswoman for Pamplona mayor Yolanda Barcina Angulo would not comment on PETA's plans, but said that: "as far as we know the bull-running will go ahead as usual" in the absence of advice to the contrary following the blue tongue outbreak.

"People are free to express their own opinion. But the criticism only comes from Britons and Americans, not Spaniards," she sniffed.

PETA tried a celebrity approach last year, with Chrissie Hynde, singer with rock group The Pretenders, urging an end to the "medieval" practice of "tormenting and slaughtering" the bulls, who last year gored 16 race participants.

Amid the controversy the organisers promise only that "the running of the bulls is an unforgettable experience for the spectator and above all for anyone who runs ahead of the bulls.

"It's a spectacle defined by risk and one's physical capacity."

The event has resulted in the deaths of 14 spectators, and of an unknown number of bulls, since records began in 1911.

Woman Charged in Hugging Muggings

WEST MIFFLIN, Pa. - A woman was charged with stealing money and other items in recent weeks by walking up to six elderly victims, giving them a big hug — and then stealing their wallets or other loose items in the process.



Mary Ann Johnson pretended to know the victims who are too polite to refuse her hugs, police said.


It wasn't immediately clear Tuesday if Johnson has an attorney.


Violet Lawton, 79, said Johnson approached her at a supermarket March 15 talked about seeing her at church.


"I knew I didn't know her, but I didn't want to be rude so I didn't say anything," Lawton said. A short time later, Lawton found her wallet missing from her purse.

Like Something Out of a Cartoon...

LONDON (Reuters) - Can't get out of bed in the morning?

Scientists at MIT's Media Lab in the United States have invented an alarm clock called Clocky to make even the doziest sleepers, who repeatedly hit the snooze button, leap out of bed.

After the snooze button is pressed, the clock, which is equipped with a set of wheels, rolls off the table to another part of the room.

"When the alarm sounds again, simply finding Clocky ought to be strenuous enough to prevent even the doziest owner from going back to sleep," New Scientist magazine said Tuesday.

If You Love Somebody

THE OLD VERSION

If you love somebody, set her free. If she comes back, she's yours. If she doesn't, she never was....

THE NEW VERSIONS

MY FAVORITE VERSION
If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours. If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with. If it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your money, and never behaves as if you actually set it free in the first place, you either married it or gave birth to it.

PESSIMIST
If you love somebody, set her free ... If she ever comes back, she's yours. If she doesn't, well, as expected, she never was.

OPTIMIST
If you love somebody, set her free ... Don't worry, she will come back.

SUSPICIOUS
If you love somebody, set her free ... If she ever comes back, ask her why.

VENGEFUL
If you love somebody, set her free ... If she doesn't come back, hunt her down and shoot her.

C++ PROGRAMMER
if(you-love(m_she)) m_she.free()
if(m_she == NULL)
m_she= new CShe;

ANIMAL RIGHTS ACTIVIST
If you love somebody, set her free ... In fact, all living creatures deserve to be free!!

BILL GATES
If you love somebody, set her free ... If she comes back, I think we can charge her for re-installation fees and but tell her that she's also going to get an upgrade.

BIOLOGIST
If you love somebody, set her free ... She'll evolve.

SCHWARZENEGGER FAN
If you love somebody, set her free ... SHE'LL BE BACK!

OVERPOSSESSIVE
If you love somebody ... don't set her free.

PSYCHOLOGIST
If you love somebody set her free ... If she comes back, her super ego is dominant. If she doesn't come, back her id is supreme. If she doesn't go, she must be crazy.

SOMNAMBULIST
If you love somebody set her free ... If she comes back, it's a nightmare. If she doesn't, you must be dreaming.

RHETT BUTLER
If you love somebody set YOURSELF FREE ... If she asks you why, say you don't give a damn.

MARKETING EXPERT
If you love somebody set her free ... If she comes back, she has brand loyalty, If she doesn't, reposition the brand in new markets.

Frank and his bag sent packing.

PENTICTON, B.C. (CP) - Frank won't be returning to his spot in the middle of a Penticton traffic circle.

City council voted unanimously Monday night to support the Penticton art committee's recommendation to leave the naked statue down.

The work by artist Michael Hermesh titled "The Baggage Handler" was removed from the roundabout in late February after a series of attacks by vandals.

The nude, two-metre sculpture of a man carrying a suitcase - dubbed "Frank" by locals - suffered his greatest indignity in January when someone chopped off his penis.

Hermesh wanted the city to pay for repairs in Vancouver but council found the estimated cost of $20,000 was too high.

Instead, the city has given the artist $300 to send Frank and his bags packing.

Curator Curtis Collins of the South Okanagan Art Gallery says despite all the hubbub surrounding the statute and the vandalism, Frank at least got people talking about art.

The sculpture's lack of clothing had upset Penticton Mayor David Perry and several citizens who demanded it be taken down shortly after it was unveiled in early January.

Judge Refuses to Let Two First Cousins Marry, Even Though They Don't Want to Have Children

HOLLIDAYSBURG, Pa. -- A county judge refused to make an exception for two first cousins who want to marry, even though the couple assured the judge they don't want to have children.

Blair County Judge Jolene Kopriva on Thursday denied the marriage license application for first cousins Eleanor Amrhein, 46, and Donald W. Andrews Sr., 39, of Logan Township.

The couple say they have been together for several years, but Kopriva said state law bars first cousins from marrying because of an increased likelihood their children will have birth defects.

The couple petitioned for an exception after a court clerk rejected their license application earlier in the week. The couple told Kopriva their mothers are sisters.

Kopriva told the couple her ruling would not prevent them from being married in another state that permits it.

About half of the states allow first cousins to marry, according to stateline.org, a research site on state laws.

Notable Quotes

HOLLYWOOD (Reuters) - They really said it -- notable quotes from the news:



"Everybody keeps telling me that. Maybe Sharon is but I don't know f--- all about it."


-- OZZY OSBOURNE, asked by the New York Post about reports that he and wife SHARON are selling their Beverly Hills home.


- - - -


"It was a health issue. If I had to see the name STAR JONES or STAR JONES REYNOLDS one more time, it was going to kill me. I thought, 'Why do I know the name of PARIS HILTON's dog?'


-- JOYCE WADLER telling the New York Daily News how she feels about giving up writing a celebrity news column for The New York Times.


-- - -


"I don't do anything anymore that feels safe. If it doesn't scare the crap out of you, then you're not doing the right thing."


-- SANDRA BULLOCK, now starring in "Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous," on choosing her movie roles.

Nfld. man given six months for DUI charges, blames liquor filled chocolates

Yahoo! News - Nfld. man given six months for DUI charges, blames liquor filled chocolates

ST. JOHN'S, Nfld. (CP) - A Newfoundland man convicted for driving under the influence blamed it all on liquor-filled chocolates.

Allen Bottomley, 67, of King's Cove, Nfld., told the judge he'd eaten too many of the sweets before being stopped by police last fall. The judge didn't bite and sentenced him to six months in jail.

Bottomley faced two charges of driving under the influence in separate incidents in September and November of last year.

RCMP said his blood alcohol level was approximately twice the legal limit when he was pulled over on both occasions.

Const. Tony Seaward said Bottomley also had three previous convictions for impaired driving resulting in the loss of his licence for eight years.

Seaward said it doesn't matter how the alcohol is consumed, it's still illegal to get behind the wheel while impaired.