Halloween Fun

A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his good time being spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went. The wife, after sleeping soundly for one hour, awakened without pain, and as it was still early, she decided to go to the party. In as much as her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.

She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice chick he could and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there. His wife up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new stuff that had just arrived.

She let him go as far as he wished; naturally, since he was her husband. Finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a little bang. Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior.

She was sitting up reading when he came in and asked what kind of a time he had had. He said, "Oh the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there." The she asked, "Did you dance much?"

He replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But I'll tell you... the guy I loaned my costume to, sure had a real good time!"

Guide to college sex?

The bombastic moralizing of Bill O'Reilly isn't Fox News' only contribution to America's cultural milieu. It turns out Fox News isn't even all that conservative, at least not in its Internet division.

Fox News' Internet magazine has given to the world a very helpful guide to college sex. (It is helpful only in the sense that some people might not have considered routine, casual dorm sex a viable lifestyle choice until they were informed of it by a cable news channel's Internet portal.)

If one does not regularly visit the Fox News Web site, he or she might have been unaware of a particular "Back To School" offering from last week. Casual sex during college years not being what it used to be, Fox whipped out an informative video on the subject. Upon viewing this Internet video presentation, Fox hopes we students will have gotten "completely schooled on campus relationships 101."

In the unfortunate event that one missed www.FNCiMag.com's "Campus Hook-Ups" video, here's the cheat-sheet version of it:

The "411" on college life, according to Fox's Internet sex anchoress Audrey Hasson, is that it is great to live on campus and "meet" some truly amazing people there, but one must go about these "meetings" in certain ways. College is, after all, about having fun, and the only way to have fun (read: sex) is by meeting people. But people are like squirrels that live in Alumni Park, and one can be neither too forward nor too timid when approaching a squirrel, lest it scamper away, up a tree other than your own.

The way to go about meeting amazing college people can be quite difficult, however, unless one has been instructed in the proper technique. Many questions must be asked: How exactly does one go about this meeting of the people? Where do these meeting rituals occur? How far is too far in the meeting process?

Fox "relationship expert" Marie Forleo provides some answers.

First of all, it is important for one to dump his or her "special" someone back home when moving off to college. Fun times are ahead, and if things were meant to be with that person back home, then the bum will still be waiting for you when you return over winter break.

Step two in meeting people at college is to actually go out where there are other people. There are "tons of ways to meet people," such as by going to "bars and frat parties."

Fox helpfully provides some dos and don'ts after one has met a new "friend" at a bar or frat party.

Here's the first don't: Don't "hook up with a guy" if he or you are "sloppy drunk." (Fox News illustrated this "don't" with a video clip of a drunk guy crawling on top of a girl passed out on a sofa; a big "X" is superimposed on the screen.) Drunken people hooking up is bad, according to Fox News, because the next morning the female will find herself "doing the walk of shame." (This is illustrated by video of a girl walking, with the word "SHAME" superimposed on the screen.)

Don't No. 2 is "stay away from your friends' guys." Two friends sleeping with the same guy just causes problems. (But not for the guy.)

Don't No. 3 is, "do your best to stay away from your professors." They might be cute, but "let's not go there," admonishes Fox.

On the other hand, here are some dos. Do "date and have fun!" Go "bowling!" Also, do "try different activities" besides the "drinking thing." (This anti-drinking do clearly conflicts with Fox's previous suggestion that one meet people at bars and frat parties.)

Also, once again, do date many people so that we don't get caught up in a "mini-marriage," tying ourselves to only one person. (College is about having fun with multiple partners, remember.)

Fox's final do is, "broaden your horizons." Get out there and "try people that are different than you," because by being open-minded you might find someone you can have a "great time" with.

On the subject of "dating and exploration" in college, one must inevitably wonder how far one should "take that." Luckily, Fox News has provided an answer to that quandary as well.

"What you want to do is have a good time, but ya gotta do what works for you personally," Fox says; "having different partners" is cool. Just make sure it's consensual, and that you women aren't using sex to manipulate the men; after all, he just wants sex, he doesn't want love.

Also, Fox instructs that one should only engage in "safe" intercourse. Fox neglects, however, to explain how one ensures his or her safety, especially considering one is "meeting" with so many "friends" at so many bars and frat parties.

College bars students from posing for Playboy

SAN ANTONIO (Reuters) - Baylor University in Waco, Texas, which bills itself as the world's largest Baptist college, has threatened to discipline students if they pose for Playboy magazine, which is trying to recruit models from the college.

Playboy photographers came to Baylor's hometown seeking models for a photo spread on women of the Big 12 college athletic conference, of which the college is a member.

Baylor Vice President for Student Life Samuel W. Oliver sent an e-mail to students this week warning that any who "associate" with Playboy would be subject to the university's disciplinary processes.

"Playboy is clearly antithetical to Baylor's mission and associating with the magazine would be a violation of the code of conduct," Oliver wrote in the e-mail. University officials said punishment could include suspension.

Baylor, known for its conservative outlook, did not allow dancing on campus until 10 years ago.

A spokesman for Playboy, known for its nude centerfolds, declined to comment on the e-mail.

The threatened punishment was met with a yawn by students on campus.

One woman, who professed no desire to pose for Playboy, said Baylor officials had "more important things to worry about" and wondered if male students would face similar punishment if they were seen reading an issue of Playboy featuring Baylor women.

Phony doctor gives free breast exams

MIAMI (Reuters) - A 76-year-old man claiming to be a doctor went door-to-door in a Florida neighborhood offering free breast exams, and was charged with sexually assaulting two women who accepted the offer, police said on Thursday.


One woman became suspicious after the man asked her to remove all her clothes and began conducting a purported genital exam without donning rubber gloves, investigators said.

The woman then phoned the Broward County Sheriff's Office and the suspect fled. He was arrested at another woman's apartment in the same Lauderdale Lakes neighborhood on Wednesday, a sheriff's spokesman said.

The white-haired suspect, Philip Winikoff, carried a black bag and claimed to be visiting on behalf of a local hospital.

"He told the woman that he was in the neighborhood offering free breast exams," sheriff's spokesman Hugh Graf said in a statement.

At least two women, both in their 30s, let him into their homes and he fondled and sexually assaulted them, the investigators said.

Winikoff was not a doctor, Graf said. He worked as a shuttle driver for an auto dealership.

Golfers! Sex can improve your swing!

Here's a tip to all golfers – if you want to improve your swing, all you got to do is have sex twice a week.

And though this may seem a bit unbelievable, this theory has been based on a scientific study.

The research was conducted by Dr Gaurav Gupta who said that playing golf required a player to be more relaxed than when playing other sports like basketball or cricket, and it had been proven that serotonins, released when people have sex, help them to relax.

"Studies have proved that serotonins help people feel satisfied, such as after a good meal or good sex, bringing relaxation and relieving stress. Playing successful golf requires a player to be more relaxed than when playing other sports like basketball or cricket," The Sun quoted him, as saying.

"The relaxation and satisfied feeling after a good healthy sex life should improve playing skills," he added.

Jakarta police want Playboy to put off next issue

Jakarta police want Playboy to put off next issue

JAKARTA (Reuters) - Jakarta's police chief said Thursday that the Indonesia publishers of Playboy magazine should put off their next issue after attacks on their offices.

About 300 hardline Islamists vandalized the building housing Playboy's offices Wednesday in a protest against its publication in the world's most-populous Muslim nation.

The protesters threw rocks at the front lobby, breaking windows of the building in the south of Jakarta several days after the magazine hit Indonesian news-stands for the first time.

Police made some efforts to stop the attackers but did not arrest anyone.

"It would be better if there were a deal to postpone the second edition," Jakarta police chief Firman Gani told reporters.

He said he planned to ask the publishers to meet with police to discuss the matter, but would appeal to higher authorities for support of a postponement if Playboy did not voluntarily comply.

The postponement would allow police time to investigate whether Playboy's first issue had violated any laws, Gani said.

Protesters showed up at the building Thursday as well, but in smaller numbers and without any incidents of violence. They included women and children, while Wednesday's violent demonstrators were exclusively male.

A building manager told reporters that Playboy had actually already vacated its offices on the premises, moving out overnight, and showed journalists the emptied space.

Despite widespread controversy, most observers say Indonesia Playboy's first issue, which bared little more flesh than newspaper lingerie ads, went no further -- or if anything was tamer -- than foreign and domestic competitors already commonly on sale in Indonesia.

Asked why those magazines were not being asked to pull their issues, Gani said that steps would be taken if they also "caused public restlessness."

However, a speaker at Thursday's anti-Playboy demonstration said protesters would act themselves to "sweep" other magazines they consider pornographic off the shelves.

Members of the Islamic Defenders Front (FPI), the hardline group that organized the earlier demonstration that turned violent, are known for taking the law into their own hands, for example by attacking massage parlors, and bars selling alcohol during the Muslim fasting period.

In February, they beat on the U.S. embassy gate in Jakarta with sticks and pelted the embassy complex with tomatoes, eggs and stones, breaking windows as outnumbered police looked on.

Some groups have criticized police in the past for selective law enforcement that effectively encourages militant violence, but Gani said police have arrested FPI members on various occasions and were protecting Playboy staff members.

About 85 percent of Indonesia's 220 million people are Muslims. Most are moderates, but militant groups have been increasingly vocal in recent years.

Several deadly bombing attacks in Indonesia have been blamed on the al Qaeda-linked Southeast Asia militant network Jemaah Islamiah, including blasts in Bali in 2002 that killed 202 people.

Founded in 1953, U.S.-based Playboy has about 20 editions around the world that cater to local tastes.

Jakarta police want Playboy to put off next issue

JAKARTA (Reuters) - Jakarta's police chief said Thursday that the Indonesia publishers of Playboy magazine should put off their next issue after attacks on their offices.

About 300 hardline Islamists vandalized the building housing Playboy's offices Wednesday in a protest against its publication in the world's most-populous Muslim nation.

The protesters threw rocks at the front lobby, breaking windows of the building in the south of Jakarta several days after the magazine hit Indonesian news-stands for the first time.

Police made some efforts to stop the attackers but did not arrest anyone.

"It would be better if there were a deal to postpone the second edition," Jakarta police chief Firman Gani told reporters.

He said he planned to ask the publishers to meet with police to discuss the matter, but would appeal to higher authorities for support of a postponement if Playboy did not voluntarily comply.

The postponement would allow police time to investigate whether Playboy's first issue had violated any laws, Gani said.

Protesters showed up at the building Thursday as well, but in smaller numbers and without any incidents of violence. They included women and children, while Wednesday's violent demonstrators were exclusively male.

A building manager told reporters that Playboy had actually already vacated its offices on the premises, moving out overnight, and showed journalists the emptied space.

Despite widespread controversy, most observers say Indonesia Playboy's first issue, which bared little more flesh than newspaper lingerie ads, went no further -- or if anything was tamer -- than foreign and domestic competitors already commonly on sale in Indonesia.

Asked why those magazines were not being asked to pull their issues, Gani said that steps would be taken if they also "caused public restlessness."

However, a speaker at Thursday's anti-Playboy demonstration said protesters would act themselves to "sweep" other magazines they consider pornographic off the shelves.

Members of the Islamic Defenders Front (FPI), the hardline group that organized the earlier demonstration that turned violent, are known for taking the law into their own hands, for example by attacking massage parlors, and bars selling alcohol during the Muslim fasting period.

In February, they beat on the U.S. embassy gate in Jakarta with sticks and pelted the embassy complex with tomatoes, eggs and stones, breaking windows as outnumbered police looked on.

Some groups have criticized police in the past for selective law enforcement that effectively encourages militant violence, but Gani said police have arrested FPI members on various occasions and were protecting Playboy staff members.

About 85 percent of Indonesia's 220 million people are Muslims. Most are moderates, but militant groups have been increasingly vocal in recent years.

Several deadly bombing attacks in Indonesia have been blamed on the al Qaeda-linked Southeast Asia militant network Jemaah Islamiah, including blasts in Bali in 2002 that killed 202 people.

Founded in 1953, U.S.-based Playboy has about 20 editions around the world that cater to local tastes.

Broken-hearted donor leaves diamond ring in car

An anonymous gift-giver left a $15,000 diamond engagement ring to the owner of an unlocked car in western Massachusetts with a typed note hinting at a broken heart.

"Merry Christmas. Thank you for leaving your car door unlocked. Instead of stealing your car I gave you a present. Hopefully this will land in the hands of someone you love, for my love is gone now. Merry Christmas to you," the note said.

The three-diamond ring with a white-gold band appeared on the seat of the man's car at a train station in Westborough, about 30 miles west of Boston, on December 7, police said. Four days later, the man reported it to police.

"This appears to be random," said Westborough Police Lt. Paul Donnelly. "I think there was a search for a car that was unlocked."

The 37-year-old man decided to keep the ring after a jeweler appraised its value at $15,000, police said.